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[15 Sep 2005|01:13pm]
I am not very good at sitting down and processing thoughts onto paper/cyberspace. As practice I bought a 200 page notebook and am trying to write in it at least a few times a week. Yet, as with most things, I wrote in it daily for a week or two and now just pick it up when there is nothing slightly more interesting to do.

I have the worst mental organization. My brain feels so cluttered, so full of thoughts and misconceptions about the world. I feel like I'm driving down a road at 100mph trying to take a picture

This is from August 20th:
"I miss Canada. I miss my favorite dog. I miss my favorite cat. And I miss my bestfriend. I need some kind of mental foundation. I am twenty years old and have the mindset of a boy. It's my habits. My mis/preconceptions about the world. I have the worst habits and are they ever hard to break away from. Everything I do is the equivalent of masturbation and feels self-destructive in the absence of moderation. I am tired of pretending to live and to feel. I've swallowed my emotions for so long that they now seem foreign, feigned, and forced. I shouldn't complain. I am not a victim of various forces, my life is mine to command. Playing the victim card is agreeing to take a laissez faire approach to life, which is something I can't afford to do."

And then there are the weird entries which I don't remember making... August 29th:
"I am worried about running out of amino peptides if I am emotional too often."


"Meditating water into different shapes is fucking weird."

So yeah.
4 Were Jive |Blank?

[27 Feb 2005|08:26pm]
Good Grief.

Way to not update, Sam.
It's not your fault, your train of thought is just shot to hell.
Well, you are in front of a computer as we speak, why not write something right now?
Cool Beans.

My phone has been broken for the past... forever. It was a piece of shit from the get-go. The antenna was oddly shaped and ended up falling out when I had it in my back pocket so I was left with a phone that got little to no reception. Didn't Bill Nye say metals make good conductors? And so came a make-shift aluminum foil antenna to the rescue and all was well. But who would have thought that jamming an over-sized, homemade antenna into a cell phone which is designed to break within 2 weeks would actually be a bad idea?

I haven't cut my hair in about 5-6 weeks. Not a big accomplishment by any means, but the last time my hair was this long I was in TMNT underwear. Oh, I cut it today though. It wasn't very long, maybe 3/4 of an inch, but when you have black hair, black eyebrows, dark brown eyes, and pale skin there's something unflattering about that situation. I have a hard enough time getting on planes, no need to look more Mohammad-ish. I'm the Samson antithesis. Baldness gets a big sloppy e-heart. <3

We're addicted to strip clubs these days. My roommates and I basically paid for a few nice young ladies to attend college last night and I walked away the proud owner of a "We party nude at the XTC... G-strings are for pussies!" t-shirt. The club was BYOB and my roommate took the opportunity to roll in a cooler the size of an SUV gas tank. We got looks. Another roommate thought it would be cool to buy huge cigars, these things were the size of a baby's arm and reeked of pesticides and zombies.


That's the extent of my thought pattern. Wish me luck in school mofos.
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[30 Nov 2004|10:47pm]
-Dude, you have too many vices.
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Can't we all just hit a bong? [02 Nov 2004|07:51pm]
I've never been more proud to be an American. Out of the four people under my roof two would or did vote for Bush Dubbya. Why you may ask? Well, one had the clever retort, "Kerry looks like a monster n' shit." While the other took the more righteous path and actually attacked Kerry's foreign policy... "Yeah he's ugly, plus he's probably a pussy."

Stupid... looking? http://politicalhumor.about.com/library/images/blbushchimplookalikes.htm

I'm moving to Cuba or Canada.
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Hi. [02 Nov 2004|07:49pm]
I miss my internet compatriots. :(
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[08 Aug 2004|03:26am]
Today I spent an hour reading various Livejournals. I started with people I know and trailed off to other users that I had never met but left interesting enough comments to warrant a click.

I feel like such a voyeur, and not the good hide-in-the-bushes kind.

I haven't updated since 'Nam and since I haven't added any actual Living to this Journal here goes:

*I tried to update and ended up making a list*

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[29 Jul 2004|10:05pm]
July 29, 2004.

I am Jack's medulla oblongata, without me Jack could not regulate his heart rate, blood pressure or breathing.

I am Sam's logic, and therefore, sense of sanity; without me Sam begins to think terrible thoughts.
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[14 Jun 2004|07:39pm]

Top Commenters on anonymous_05's LiveJournal
1anonymous_0562 62
2lordknowsimweak25 25
3poisonivy0014 14
4random6613 13
5prisstine10 10
6reflectinq9 9
7toastedryebread9 9
8darksoulreaver8 8
9ashen_wraith7 7
10likethemouse7 7
11tharaven7 7
12dyabolikal5 5
13stellarbubbles4 4
14glittagoddess2 2
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Total Commenters: 19
Total Comments: 189

Report generated 6/14/2004 7:38:35 PM by scrapdog's LJ Comment Stats Wizard 1.1

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Zum. [15 May 2004|12:53am]
[ mood | okay ]

No updates, no comments, no emo-ness; I've been a bad LiveJournalist.

March/April/May have not been good to me. There's been too many reprecussions and I no longer feel in control of what happens to me. Were it not for my practical outlook, this would turn into an exaggerated "omigod, my lyfe sukz" entry. A rather sensical idiom, loosely worded, goes, "If everything you do is wrong.. do the opposite."

k, wish me luck, and I'll see you when I see you.

I just wish, I wish, I hadn't killed that fish.

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April 24, 2004 [25 Apr 2004|01:06am]
[ mood | blank ]

Today my grandmother passed.

Julia Guzman

"Is it hot or cold outside?"

You were such a silly old broad, I hope you're somewhere better.

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Update? [10 Apr 2004|02:04pm]
[ mood | amused ]

Haven't had an original thought in here in mucho tiempo. Random thought in a hopefully organized pattern, hopefully?

All my life I've been conditioned to function best alone. I like being alone, more than most maybe? Around others I play make believe--put on a pseudo pleasant demeanor, bust out the ol' wit n' charm, but none of it is genuine. I don't understand how people cannot shut off that instinctive urge to have someone "there"? It's a weakness, a flaw in human character, yet people embrace it so.

Side note. I'm working more than ever, this is going to be a 46 hour week... damn, hell, crap. [/bart simpson-esque swearing]

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[27 Mar 2004|02:45pm]
It turns out I have a small penis. Sadness.
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Hi. [26 Mar 2004|07:45pm]
[ mood | sleepy ]

Got Vice?

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Dream. [21 Mar 2004|10:07pm]
I wish we could have stayed lost forever.
I wish the shuttle bus had never come.
I wish we could have stood on that pier forever.
I wish we could have argued over whether there was a bird in the tree or not longer.
I wish the ferry would have gotten lost for days.
I wish our ride had never come.
I wish that night had never ended.

She's changed everything, how I look at everything, what I've always wanted. Soon. I know it.
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[12 Mar 2004|10:35am]
"Leavin' on a jet plane... don't know when I'll be back again."

[01 Mar 2004|05:57pm]
[ mood | drained ]

Spoke too soon, and now I'm broken. One day, just one day.
Don't ask.

[29 Feb 2004|08:24pm]
[ mood | good ]

Not counting what a certain someone said last night and disregarding the fact that I've been spending money like a teenage Ay-rab, everything is going really well.
Sam = one happy mofo.

[This song is strangely appropriate? :/ ]

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[25 Feb 2004|04:53pm]
[ mood | depressed ]

So now I'm majoring in Mechanical Engineering instead of Business? This is borderline socialism... "Nein kamerad, wir für Sie wählen!" DIE BEVO DIE!!!

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Hands. [12 Feb 2004|10:17pm]
[ mood | lethargic ]


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Yawn. [10 Feb 2004|11:30pm]
[ mood | sleepy ]

Yellow Submarine.

I like my new colo[u]r scheme.
God is great.

Side note: Chris' alterego is a Pizimp.

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Stuff [10 Feb 2004|09:17pm]
[ mood | groggy ]

- 15 Hours of sleep is bitchin' yet I'm still jonesin' for more.
- I love, love, fucking love the Discovery Science network.
- I'm bigger than The Hulk, that makes me happy in ze pantaloons.
- My membership for Bang Bus was cancelled today... SANCHEZ!
- I had a semi-homoerotic dream starring the Farley Brothers and Dane Cook.
- Drinking Ny-Quil is like taking a nice long gravity hit.
- People are weird if you watch them long enough.
- I was awaken today by a monkey and the Hamburgler, who I prompty told to "Shut the fuck up!"
- "100 Billion stars."
- Rain. I love it.
- Snow. Never seen it.
- Sleet. Feels like hurty.
- I just got aroused at an Ionic Breeze commercial.
- Eyes. Heavy. Sleep. Gud.
- I'm still pissed about Bang Bus. Where shall I get my fix?
- Chug-a-lug!
- "Holy smokes! You need booze!"
- Ny-Quil > every /thing/one/place
- Anal monkey buttfuck.
- I'm spent.

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[01 Feb 2004|10:35pm]
[ mood | grumpy ]


The Superbowl was in Houston.
I'll be wearing a thong even though I won a bet?
Yahoo smileys are the shit.
I have a stamp on both my hands that reads, "HUT"
I don't remember last night.. most of it.
Diet Dr. Pepper didn't taste like liquid ass?
I'd run it up Betty White, and she'd like it!
My Yahoo list has been Hitlerized.
French Fries are cooking.
French Fries are now referred to as "Freedom Fries"
It has come to my attention that I am better than most.
The above statement is true.
The above statement is false.
Netflix is absolutely awesome.
I love her.
Haircuts are needed.
How the fucking fuck does someone purchase a thong?
Are all male-thongs leapord print, or is this some horrible stereotype?
You should get it tomorrow, remember the deal. kthx.
I might work tomorrow, the schedule has been lost.
I got accepted into the University of Texas.
Requiem for a Dream has yet to be watched.
Is it Wreck-we-um or rick-weem?
Those phonetic spellings kick ass.
Chicka chicka bow wow.
There shall be much friend list commenting as of now.


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Fuck you. [28 Jan 2004|06:35am]
[ mood | awake ]


Yesterday couldn't have gone any better.
Sam, Feelin' Fine.

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Chance. [26 Jan 2004|05:27pm]
[ mood | nostalgic ]

By chance I saw her today. After all this time it was still... nice.
She gave me a number to call if "I'm ever feeling lonely" .. I might call, it's been about a year, I deserve closure.

I'm off to work.

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[20 Jan 2004|05:29pm]
Favor? Tell me about your life, doesn't matter how long, anything will do.
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